15 Oct 2022 1:34
Dear members of the ACC/ACCN and those who follow this website:
I am writing to ask the Lord and all of you to forgive me for posting comments and mean things on this website many years ago.
Back in 2011, I was constantly getting attacked by the members and people of the ACCN church. The abuse started as long as I can remember. There was a period when there was short-lived love before my baptism. I was being love-bombed. People showed me fake love, and it changed immediately following my baptism. The weekend after my baptism, people weren't being kind anymore. I noticed the shift and asked my mother why people changed from pre to post-baptism. My mother responded that Jesus suffered and that I was to suffer as Jesus did.
The only problem with my mother's statement is that I wasn't equipped to handle the abuse in the church. I also didn't realize the impact of being surrounded by a group of unkind people (to say it mildly). You are who you surround yourself with. In many ways, I was brainwashed to be the opposite of the Bible's teaching.
As a child, I attended church functions, events and sings at people's houses. The events would end up in arguments, gossiping, slandering, and making fun of people's misfortunes. On one of my family's visits to a minister's house, I was around eight years old, I was sitting in the study, and the minister's son grabbed me by the throat and pinned me to the wall, threatening me. I did nothing wrong. I was a shy child and was afraid of those people.
During the most difficult period in the church, every weekend was an attack. People targeted the people close to me and me. Someone once told me I offended her for wearing a long denim skirt to an evening sing. She was friendly to others wearing short skirts, denim fabric, and short sleeve tops, yet she singled me out and said that my long denim skirt offended her. If she cared about my soul, she would have asked me how I was spiritually and if I needed help. Instead, she watched me cry, told me off, and left.
A few years after my baptism, I was assaulted by a church member. The family of this member blamed me, and those who knew immediately treated me differently. I was no longer invited to one of the family's houses. No one ever asked me if I was okay or needed help. To them, it was my fault. I couldn't speak up about it because I was a girl in the church, which would hurt my chances of getting married. I needed help and was made to stay silent about what had happened.
During the year when the attacks were constant (every week/weekend), out of emotional pain and reacting to the abuse, I posted on this website that the government should take children away from parents who abuse children. I was wrong and blinded by the pain. I ask all those who read my comments on this website to please forgive me. Also, please forgive me for slandering, gossiping, and posting hate.
Corrie Ten Boom said the following: "Pray for yourselves and for other Christians. Where there is no vision, the people perish".
I can describe the abuse as an attack on my soul. It's spiritual warfare. People wanted me to burn in hell and take away any life I had left.
Recently, no longer a church member, I began dressing modestly again. An ACCN church member came over to my family's home and told me to stop dressing modestly, to wear short shorts, and to enjoy my life on this earth because I'm going to hell anyway.
I want to end this message by saying that I forgive all of you for hurting me and attacking my soul. Please forgive me for the things I said on this website. Gossiping and spreading hate is a sin. May God protect your children and their precious souls and save your souls, also.
Thank you for reading.
15 Oct 2022 13:56
Thank you for sharing that present day testimony! The tone of what you shared brings out a very sincere heart of humility and repentance. I rejoice with the angles in heaven dear sister. Don't be concerned about people "sending you to hell." People can only kill the body. My encouragement to you is to continue to live out the Kingdom of God and its practical applications. It may mean that you might have to move on to another fellowship to help you do that and find healing. Being all anonymous here , it makes it difficult to help you find one.
Grace and peace to you!
16 Oct 2022 4:28
Thank you, Berean, for your words. It has me crying. I appreciate your care and encouragement. If God decides that there is hope in me, He will lead me to where He wants me. I am in His hands.
I've been waking up from the trauma and my sleep. I mentioned the abuse's effects in the church to make people aware of the harm it can cause. In Matthew 18:21-22 the word of God says: "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." I forgive and love everyone and hope that God will forgive me at the time of judgment. I, again, ask people to please forgive me for sinning on this platform and for being a bad example of what Christ wanted me to be.
16 Oct 2022 23:46
@Anonymous, if you would ever want to connect, you can find me on a different forum called mennonet dot com. I go by a different user name but after you register , you can introduce yourself and somehow hint in your introduction a little about yourself. Hopefully I'll notice and ill try to reach out to you via private messaging.
16 Nov 2022 23:06
I forgive you. While I've never heard of your allegations, it does seem that you truly believe that they are true, and that's what matters. Forgiveness accepted.
31 May 2023 21:06
I hope your staying encouraged and engaged with good spiritual fellowship. Will you be going to Eastern Camp this year?